Small shadows darted across the sidewalk and straight into the darkness beginning at the tip of my toes. Like fish above my head. Like I was at the bottom of the sea, standing at the edge of an abyss. Cold breezes whipped past me, pulling at the hem of my coat, and as I looked up, I could see shadows writhing and twisting across the faces of buildings, lashing out across the street, reaching up towards the streetlamp suspended above the dark sea below. I could hear something beating against the gate. The thunderous roars were unmistakable but muffled, as if under water. The entire street was a dark maelstrom, a twirling, roaring, hellish pot of –
“Quite a weather we’re having!” an old woman yelled across the storm while pressing a red beret against her grey curls. She materialized from out of the darkness, her jacket beating about her like frustrated wings before she pulled herself into the golden autumn light of the main street. Her shawl, which had been strung out like a sail in the wind, breathed a sigh of relief and came to rest across her shoulders. “And so local, too! Anyway, have a nice day, dear.”
I watched the woman leave, while adjusting her beret.
Then I took a step and was instantly swallowed by the wailing darkness that was X_Street.
It still swims into my laptop from time to time. Something to do with electric currents.
TO WHOM OF THE UNSPEAKABLES THIS MAY CONCERN THOUGH THIS REALLY ONLY CONCERNS YOU IF YOU ARE OF SOME IMPORTANCE OTHERWISE PLEASE PASS IT ON TO YOUR SUPERIOUR I WRITE TO YOU WITH THE MOST EXCITING NEWS YOU MAY ALREADY KNOW THIS SINCE YOU KNOW ALL OR ALMOST ALL ANYWAY YOU ARE AWARE OF A LOT AND THIS HAS SPARKED QUITE A STIR HERE IN THE DIMENSION OF EARTH THE MILKYWAY THE UNIVERSE UNDER WATER DOWN STREAM TO THE LEFT OF THE BUNNY ROCK THREE KNOCKS AND FIVE QUARTERS WAIT WAIT WAIT YES YOU ARE THERE THAT IS THE ONE I PRESENT TO YOU THIS CREATURE
I DO NOT KNOW WHO MADE IT OR WHAT MATERIALS WERE USED BUT THIS IS A MASTERLY CRAFTED MACHINE OF MISERY PLEASE NOTE ITS DEVOTION TO WALL MAKING BY NOW IT HAS CREATED BOUNDLESS COMMOTION BUT WITHIN BOUNDS AS WE LIKE IT YOU SHOULD ALLOW SOMEONE TO STUDY THIS THING AND I HUMBLY VOLUNTEER TO DO SO MY NAME IS TOM PERHAPS YOU HAVE HEARD OF ME I AM A VOID FISH AND AN ENGINEER I KNOW THAT SOME DO NOT THINK VERY HIGHLY OF VOID FISH BUT I AM CONFIDENT YOU WOULD MAKE NO SUCH MISTAKE AS ANY VOID FISH I AM ILLUMINATED AND ILLUMINATING AND I KNOW MACHINES I ALSO KNOW WALLS AND ROADS AND HARBOURS AND I HAVE CROSSED MANY EMBANKMENTS I ALSO KNOW THE WORKINGS OF THE MINISTRY OF HELL AND HARBOURS AND HAVE OFTEN OFFERED MY SERVICES ALAS MY CORRESPONDENCES MUST HAVE BEEN LOST BY INCOMPETENT POST WORKERS FOR I HAVE NOT HEARD BACK FROM YOU THE POST WORKERS IN THIS DIMENSION TEND TO MOVE BACK IN TIME IT TAKES FIVE DAYS TO SEND A LETTER WITHIN THE SAME COUNTRY CAN YOU BELIEVE IT NOW I WILL LEAVE YOU TO PONDER THIS FANTASTIC NEWS PLEASE CONTACT ME THROUGH THIS SAME MEDIUM I DO NOT TRUST MY GATEKEEPER TO KNOW THE PROPER DECORUM NEEDED WHEN COMMUNICATING WITH HELL ALSO SHE IS A CRIMINAL THANK YOU TOM THE VOID FISH
Anyway. Back in October I got on bus 2A from Copenhagen Central Station towards Amager in order to pick up the letters from Copenhagen Gate Services from my flat and show them to Lieke De Klomp, the actual Gatekeeper of Amagerport. Now as you may know if you travel these parts of Copenhagen, 2A goes straight past the actual guardhouse of Amagerport: a small, yellow house called ‘Ravelinen’. It is pulled a little back from the road and almost swallowed by the shadows of large trees, but you can still see it as the bus passes by.
Copenhagen is known for its walls and not least the old gates, which lent their names to the main parts of the city: there’s Østerport (Eastern Gate), Vesterport (Western Gate), Nørreport (Northern Gate), and then there’s the gate with no sense of direction at all: Amagerport (Gate of Amager). Though to be fair, this area is also at times referred to as Sønderport (Southern Gate).
As the city grew, it spilled across its walls and embankments, leaving gates and guardhouses and Gatekeepers behind
THESE WERE TERRIBLE TIMES
The names linger, but the gates are gone. Or well mostly gone.
PEOPLE ARE IGNORANT OF THE COMPLEX MULTIPLICITIES OF GATES IN TIMES OF TRANSDIMENSIONAL TRAVEL WHICH IS TO SAY IN ALL TIMES
What I mean is, you can still see some of the ruins.
Anyway. Amagerport closed in 1857, but Amager was still not considered a proper part of the city, and so people continued paying a toll to enter and leave. Instead of doing so by the gate, however, they did so at a place closer to what is today Amagerbrogade 35. I don’t live near that place at all, and I live even further away from the old guardhouse. Also, the toll stopped in 1915.
IT DID NOT
Hello and happy 2017! If you’re reading this, I guess we both made it through 2016, huh? Guess none of us were quite iconic enough to kill off, which is not a non-excellent thing at all. Of course, 2016 had to finish with a flourish and celebrate Christmas by taking the man singing Last Christmas, because that’s how monsters dance.
Anyway, it’s gone for now. Later, its decaying hand will shoot up through the ground and grab us by the ankle, but till then: let’s drink to inevitable doom!